What It’s Like Raising a Child with Disability

While there are challenges in raising a child with disability, miracles can also happen.

Eversince my daughter was a toddler, all I received from people around me are pity and sorry.

While there are big challenges and many heartaches, stressful and high pressure moments, it’s not all there is to raising a child with disability. There are hopeful and miraculous moments, too.

Of course, I spent many sleepless nights anxious about the prognosis of her condition, I am amazed at her resilience, confidence, grace, wholeheartedness and how she flourished through the years.

Breaking expectations

My daughter was diagnosed with cerebral palsy before she turned two years old.

Since then, we put her through rigorous physical and occupational therapies while attending tutorial programs and eventually formal special education.

Simple activities may not be so simple to her. Stretching for example is painful and she would often dread this. There were times when I can’t help but cry hearing her cries through the one hour of physical therapy.

And yet, she still did the activities asked of her.

But for a few years now, we no longer attend physical therapies because she was getting sick often. We decided as a family to focus on her health instead and enrolled her to a mainstream school (this was before unschooling was possible for us).

We observed how she made friends, stood up for herself and became more confident in handling conversations and being around a huge group of people.

She exceeded expectations of the result of her EEG test and impressions of many doctors about her condition. According to them, she’s not supposed to be speaking, construct long sentences nor have logical abilities. Yet she exchanges sarcastic lines with her father, composes songs with conversational lyrics and sings out loud to songs that span from a variety of genres and timelines.

An inspiration to be better

Just like any parent, we feared our child to be bullied at school. But she proved to be a magnetic force who seemed to attract kindness and compassion around her. Of course there are those who’d say insensitive remarks, but random kindness sprouts in the most unexpected places. A stranger will open doors for us, give way for her in the elevator, offer a seat for her in the canteen, and many more.

Over the years, with us giving priority to her well-being, she has shown improvement in her health. From a very tiny baby that was born underweight, she’s grown to be taller than expected. She prefers fruits over cakes, but of course, will give in to sweet treats once or twice a month. She rarely gets sick and would put an effort into exercising at home, even when according to her, she’s too lazy to do it.

her father whom she saw crying so hard for the first time. She told him, “Don’t worry Pa, I’m here for you. She’s ok now. She’s with your dad in heaven.”

When one of us at home gets sick, she’ll suggest soothing food to help us recover fast. She knows because I taught her. At the same time, remind us to stay away from her because she doesn’t want to get whatever we may have. These little things can warm your heart, and laugh out loud at her bluntness.

When you’re around this positive energy, you can’t help but do your best to be better, too. That’s why, I’ve always said that my daughter have taught me more about life more than anything and anyone else.

Miracles can be everywhere

Having a child with a disability can often be demanding, both physically and emotionally for us parents. Not to mention the financial aspect involved to support treatments, check ups, therapies and medication. But over the years, it has shown me what Divine provision means and to trust that everything will be provided.

We learned to work smart, and find a way of earning that doesn’t involve sacrificing time for her, for ourselves (because we needed to be healthy and well, too, as her primary nurturer), and our family.

My daughter is more than her condition. She proved that with her resilience and grace.
It’s not all challenges. It’s not all pain. It’s not all heartbreaks and despair. There’s also hope, joy, and possibilities beyond your wildest imagination. If only more and more people can see this other side of raising a child with different abilities, maybe we are headed to a much more inclusive future.